Journals58
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HELLO, I've moved.
1 min read
I decided to start from scratch and create a new (slightly more professional) deviantART account.
You can find me here:
ohhitsworking.deviantart.com
Thanks!
You can find me here:
ohhitsworking.deviantart.com
Thanks!
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10k is only 33 pageviews away!!!!!
1 min read
If you catch it I will draw you something nice 
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My MGMT Lollapalooza Experience
12 min read
To start off, I woke up at 9:15-ish and got ready. Packed all my shit in a bag and straightened my hair kinda and w/e. GOT READY.
My friend Elizabeth got to my house to pick me up at like 10:40 and then we went to her house and waited for her mom. We left her house at about 11:15. It was raining almost the entire drive to Lollapalooza but Elizabeth plugged my iPod in and we listened to ONLY MGMT the entire hour-long drive which was nice.
As we got downtown Chicago and were driving closer and closer to Grant Park, she changed the music to this band called "13th Floor Elevators" and seeing all the people walking down the street like gravitating towards Lollapalooza was very cool. It reminded me a lot of Woodstock and I was already really excited.
So Elizabeth's mom dropped us off across the street from the main entrance at about 12:45 and we walked over there. We had our bags checked, and got in with our passes no problems.
Then I got a program which was cool because it gave me 40 free songs off iTunes (from bands that played at Lolla) and it had a great map in it that we used to find the f.y.e. autograph tent.
We got to the line for the tent at about 1:00 and stood there for a bit with this group of a few girls like right behind us. They were really nice and one of them went to go get CDs for her friends because you needed to buy one to get the wristband to be able to meet MGMT. So I gave her my 20 and she brought me back my change and my wristband and my special edition CD with the cool coin so I can have an awesome necklace.
At this point it had stopped drizzling and the sun came out and it was BEATING DOWN. Everyone was sweating like crazy and the security guards had to come out and spray people with squirt bottles and stuff. But there was this guy running around in a pink speedo and he was taking pictures with people and stuff. So I called him over like "HEY PINK SPEEDO GUY" and he came over to me and Elizabeth and we got a few pictures with him.
A LITTLE SIDE-NOTE: There were a LOTTTTT A LOT A LOT of really attractive people walking around at this place. Lots of guys with big long curly hair and tan buffness and lots of girls with super cool fashion sense and model-esque figures. The whole thing was really cool. Not many tools or blonde bimbos at THIS festival.
So then Elizabeth left me to go see Minus the Bear. At this point I was just chillin and stuff it was fine. But it was getting closer to 3 and nobody saw any signs of MGMT arriving or anything. Before this point in time, there was a Switchfoot signing going on at the same time but their line was kind of combined with ours, so security split the line up and then OUR line moved up a TONNNNN.
People kept cutting through our line to get to the other lines or other areas or whatever. But it was about 3 and a group of girls cut right behind me and right in front of the people behind me and went over to talk to a security guard. But as they were cutting through, I noticed one of them looked like Sarah (Ben's GF) and then there was a girl with them also who looked like Janell (Will's wife). So I put 2 and 2 together and figured that if there was a girl who looked like Janell hanging out with a girl who looked like Sarah then it probably was actually Janell and Sarah. So I was freaking out and nobody else realized who they were— even the security guards were giving them a hard time. And I really wanted to ask Janell for a picture with her but I was too nervous so I just snuck one from a small distance. They were all talking to the guard for about 20 minutes and I swear to god I was staring at Janell the entire time hahaha. (For those of you who don't know, she's my HERO).
So the girls go over by the fence on the side of the tent and it's like 3:18 now and everyone's freaking out because MGMT only had til 3:30 to do their signing but security was like "WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS LINE" and I was at a decent place in line anyway but it was a little worrying. Like a minute after Janell and Sarah go by the fence they start waving and yelling and everyone was cheering because the guys finally got there and it was SPECTACULARLY EXCITING.
The issues that came up were that security was like "Alright, we're gonna have to make this a walk-n-sign kind of thing. You can say whatever you want to the guys but you have to keep it moving while you do." I wanted to get this bandana I made signed too but then the lady at the front was like "ONLY CDs."
So I got my CD out. And the first guy in the little line of MGMT. Was. Andrew. VanWyngarden.
He like looked up at me and smiled and I smiled back and said "Hi Andrew" and I'm pretty sure I did okay but I don't know how I looked or whatever. But he said "Hi" and signed my CD booklet right next to his picture and passed it on to James.
I was back a bit in the line and I could still see the guys through the wall of people a little bit. And before James had been wearing a kind of bedazzled crown thing that said "King James" on it in marker, but when I got up there he wasn't wearing it anymore. So I asked "Hey James, what happened to that cool crown you were wearing before?" And first he looked kind of happy that I knew him and then he kind of laughed and said "Yeah, it was pretty awesome but I decided it was a little ostentatious so I took it off" and he smiled at me and passed my booklet on to Ben.
OKAY. SO. Coming into this whole day, I was under the impression that I would be completely speechless trying to come up with something to say to Andrew. I thought his mere presence 2 feet away from me would render me with absolutely NOTHING to say. But really, that was Ben. Benjamin Goldwasser just took my booklet and signed it with his Beno-ness and I could not for the life of me think of ANYTHING to say to him because he was just so Ben and adorable and breathtaking and yeah. So when he handed my booklet back I just managed a "Thanks, Ben" and a smile and he smiled real big back and was like "Oh, no prob!" And that was when I died. Okay? Okay.
Next in line was Will, and I just said "Hey, Will!" to him really like calm but happy and he said "Hi, how are you doing?" and smiled and signed my booklet. And I don't know, I couldn't think of anything else to say because whatever I could say could be creepy and so I just didn't say anything else except "Thanks so much!" when he was done signing. PATHETIC. I KNOW. Oh well.
Last, but MOST CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, was Matt. His hair was even more magnificent than I could've imagined. I first saw him through the wall of people and I got a decent picture with my zoom all the way up. He was in the middle of saying something to Will when I said "Hey there Matt, I love your 'fro" so he didn't hear me but was really polite and was like "Sorry, what?" so I told him again and he laughed and like touched the back of his head and said "Oh haha thanks!" Then he was looking at my shirt taking the booklet from Will and he asked what my shirt said so I told him. "Oh it says 'Alright, everyone try to stay psychedelic" and he recognized that Andrew said that at Glastonbury earlier this year so he smiled and was like "OHHHHH that's so cool!!!" as he was looking down the table towards Andrew. Then he started opening the booklet to find his page and he asked me if I saw the Strokes play on Friday night. I said "Haha, nope, I just got a one-day-pass to see you guys!!!" and he smiled real big in the middle of signing my booklet and said "Awh, thanks!" Then he finished signing it and he was giving it back to me and he smiled and said "Well, we will try to keep it extra psychedelic tonight, just for you." I died. Again. OKAY? MATT IS FANTASTIC.
So then I left the autograph thing and met up with Elizabeth again and I told her my story and tried calling Ty but she couldn't hear me so yeah. Then Elizabeth and I got food and sat and ate for a bit. Then at about 4:45 we decided to head over to where MGMT was supposed to be playing at 6:00. We waited like right next to the stage off to the side until the band who was playing then finished their set and immediately we pushed our way to a pretty decent spot in the crowd. There were a lot of people smoking cigarettes which kind of grossed me out but there were also a lot of people smoking pot too which I don't really mind the smell of. We waited the long hour and then.
Finally.
At 6:00 ON THE DOT.
MGMT came up on stage.
And everyone started pushing like violently to get closer to the stage and they started playing. It was so great, they were fantastic live even though it was a huge outdoor venue and I had an awesome time, feeling the music and taking some pictures and a couple short videos. There were a TON of people crowd-surfing and security was running back and forth throwing water bottles into the crowd and stuff but the whole thing was so much fun and I got pushed around and there was pretty much no space to breathe and it was boiling hot and everyone was sweating a lot but I just loved the whole vibe there. Just overall, the whole thing was really great and I wish I could go back.
I wrote down the setlist on the back of a notebook I had in my bag:
Pieces of What
Brian Eno **Before this one, they were playing a little minor progression thing and Andrew said "This next song's about a dudeeeee" and before he said which dude (Brian Eno or Dan Treacy) I yelled out "BRIAN ENO!!!!!!!" and they started playing it and I felt so cool and psychic to know what they were gonna play before they played it.**
Electric Feel
Flash Delirium **I always get a rush hearing them play this live but at the beginning when they start the recorded track. It's just very exciting to hear that start and know what's coming.**
Of Moons, Birds, and Monsters **This is Elizabeth's favorite MGMT song so she was glad they played it (which I figured they would) and I was happy for her that they jammed out on the end of it.**
It's Working
The Youth **This was cool to hear thousands of young people singing along with. Just saying.**
Song For Dan Treacy
Weekend Wars
Time To Pretend **I got a small like 30 second clip of this one on video.**
Destrokk **I was really excited when they started this one and it was funny when the crowd was singing the "OOOOOHHHHH" after the "we love you in glacial ways"**
The Handshake **AWESOME, AWESOME jam on the end of this one. They always kill it **
I Found A Whistle
Kids **Of course the crowd went freaking CRAZY when they started this one. It was fun because everyone was jumping up and down the entire time and singing not the actual words but the synth part or whatever that is really loud and obnoxiously because Andrew asked us all to. Then at the end James rocked out Kids on his little piano thing for a bit and we all kept singing along with it. Kids, while great, is not my favorite MGMT song, but it's one of the most fun live because everyone in the crowd gets so into it.**
Congratulations **I cried. Nuff said.**
They didn't do an encore but it was kind of okay. NO INDIE ROKKERS. BUT REALLY, their set was freaking awesome and I felt so nasty after as Elizabeth and I removed ourselves from the crowd but at the same time I felt really happy and exhausted and just overall magnificent.
So that was pretty much it, the best day of my life so far.
=THE END.=
My friend Elizabeth got to my house to pick me up at like 10:40 and then we went to her house and waited for her mom. We left her house at about 11:15. It was raining almost the entire drive to Lollapalooza but Elizabeth plugged my iPod in and we listened to ONLY MGMT the entire hour-long drive which was nice.
As we got downtown Chicago and were driving closer and closer to Grant Park, she changed the music to this band called "13th Floor Elevators" and seeing all the people walking down the street like gravitating towards Lollapalooza was very cool. It reminded me a lot of Woodstock and I was already really excited.
So Elizabeth's mom dropped us off across the street from the main entrance at about 12:45 and we walked over there. We had our bags checked, and got in with our passes no problems.
Then I got a program which was cool because it gave me 40 free songs off iTunes (from bands that played at Lolla) and it had a great map in it that we used to find the f.y.e. autograph tent.
We got to the line for the tent at about 1:00 and stood there for a bit with this group of a few girls like right behind us. They were really nice and one of them went to go get CDs for her friends because you needed to buy one to get the wristband to be able to meet MGMT. So I gave her my 20 and she brought me back my change and my wristband and my special edition CD with the cool coin so I can have an awesome necklace.
At this point it had stopped drizzling and the sun came out and it was BEATING DOWN. Everyone was sweating like crazy and the security guards had to come out and spray people with squirt bottles and stuff. But there was this guy running around in a pink speedo and he was taking pictures with people and stuff. So I called him over like "HEY PINK SPEEDO GUY" and he came over to me and Elizabeth and we got a few pictures with him.
A LITTLE SIDE-NOTE: There were a LOTTTTT A LOT A LOT of really attractive people walking around at this place. Lots of guys with big long curly hair and tan buffness and lots of girls with super cool fashion sense and model-esque figures. The whole thing was really cool. Not many tools or blonde bimbos at THIS festival.
So then Elizabeth left me to go see Minus the Bear. At this point I was just chillin and stuff it was fine. But it was getting closer to 3 and nobody saw any signs of MGMT arriving or anything. Before this point in time, there was a Switchfoot signing going on at the same time but their line was kind of combined with ours, so security split the line up and then OUR line moved up a TONNNNN.
People kept cutting through our line to get to the other lines or other areas or whatever. But it was about 3 and a group of girls cut right behind me and right in front of the people behind me and went over to talk to a security guard. But as they were cutting through, I noticed one of them looked like Sarah (Ben's GF) and then there was a girl with them also who looked like Janell (Will's wife). So I put 2 and 2 together and figured that if there was a girl who looked like Janell hanging out with a girl who looked like Sarah then it probably was actually Janell and Sarah. So I was freaking out and nobody else realized who they were— even the security guards were giving them a hard time. And I really wanted to ask Janell for a picture with her but I was too nervous so I just snuck one from a small distance. They were all talking to the guard for about 20 minutes and I swear to god I was staring at Janell the entire time hahaha. (For those of you who don't know, she's my HERO).
So the girls go over by the fence on the side of the tent and it's like 3:18 now and everyone's freaking out because MGMT only had til 3:30 to do their signing but security was like "WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS LINE" and I was at a decent place in line anyway but it was a little worrying. Like a minute after Janell and Sarah go by the fence they start waving and yelling and everyone was cheering because the guys finally got there and it was SPECTACULARLY EXCITING.
The issues that came up were that security was like "Alright, we're gonna have to make this a walk-n-sign kind of thing. You can say whatever you want to the guys but you have to keep it moving while you do." I wanted to get this bandana I made signed too but then the lady at the front was like "ONLY CDs."
So I got my CD out. And the first guy in the little line of MGMT. Was. Andrew. VanWyngarden.
He like looked up at me and smiled and I smiled back and said "Hi Andrew" and I'm pretty sure I did okay but I don't know how I looked or whatever. But he said "Hi" and signed my CD booklet right next to his picture and passed it on to James.
I was back a bit in the line and I could still see the guys through the wall of people a little bit. And before James had been wearing a kind of bedazzled crown thing that said "King James" on it in marker, but when I got up there he wasn't wearing it anymore. So I asked "Hey James, what happened to that cool crown you were wearing before?" And first he looked kind of happy that I knew him and then he kind of laughed and said "Yeah, it was pretty awesome but I decided it was a little ostentatious so I took it off" and he smiled at me and passed my booklet on to Ben.
OKAY. SO. Coming into this whole day, I was under the impression that I would be completely speechless trying to come up with something to say to Andrew. I thought his mere presence 2 feet away from me would render me with absolutely NOTHING to say. But really, that was Ben. Benjamin Goldwasser just took my booklet and signed it with his Beno-ness and I could not for the life of me think of ANYTHING to say to him because he was just so Ben and adorable and breathtaking and yeah. So when he handed my booklet back I just managed a "Thanks, Ben" and a smile and he smiled real big back and was like "Oh, no prob!" And that was when I died. Okay? Okay.
Next in line was Will, and I just said "Hey, Will!" to him really like calm but happy and he said "Hi, how are you doing?" and smiled and signed my booklet. And I don't know, I couldn't think of anything else to say because whatever I could say could be creepy and so I just didn't say anything else except "Thanks so much!" when he was done signing. PATHETIC. I KNOW. Oh well.
Last, but MOST CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, was Matt. His hair was even more magnificent than I could've imagined. I first saw him through the wall of people and I got a decent picture with my zoom all the way up. He was in the middle of saying something to Will when I said "Hey there Matt, I love your 'fro" so he didn't hear me but was really polite and was like "Sorry, what?" so I told him again and he laughed and like touched the back of his head and said "Oh haha thanks!" Then he was looking at my shirt taking the booklet from Will and he asked what my shirt said so I told him. "Oh it says 'Alright, everyone try to stay psychedelic" and he recognized that Andrew said that at Glastonbury earlier this year so he smiled and was like "OHHHHH that's so cool!!!" as he was looking down the table towards Andrew. Then he started opening the booklet to find his page and he asked me if I saw the Strokes play on Friday night. I said "Haha, nope, I just got a one-day-pass to see you guys!!!" and he smiled real big in the middle of signing my booklet and said "Awh, thanks!" Then he finished signing it and he was giving it back to me and he smiled and said "Well, we will try to keep it extra psychedelic tonight, just for you." I died. Again. OKAY? MATT IS FANTASTIC.
So then I left the autograph thing and met up with Elizabeth again and I told her my story and tried calling Ty but she couldn't hear me so yeah. Then Elizabeth and I got food and sat and ate for a bit. Then at about 4:45 we decided to head over to where MGMT was supposed to be playing at 6:00. We waited like right next to the stage off to the side until the band who was playing then finished their set and immediately we pushed our way to a pretty decent spot in the crowd. There were a lot of people smoking cigarettes which kind of grossed me out but there were also a lot of people smoking pot too which I don't really mind the smell of. We waited the long hour and then.
Finally.
At 6:00 ON THE DOT.
MGMT came up on stage.
And everyone started pushing like violently to get closer to the stage and they started playing. It was so great, they were fantastic live even though it was a huge outdoor venue and I had an awesome time, feeling the music and taking some pictures and a couple short videos. There were a TON of people crowd-surfing and security was running back and forth throwing water bottles into the crowd and stuff but the whole thing was so much fun and I got pushed around and there was pretty much no space to breathe and it was boiling hot and everyone was sweating a lot but I just loved the whole vibe there. Just overall, the whole thing was really great and I wish I could go back.
I wrote down the setlist on the back of a notebook I had in my bag:
Pieces of What
Brian Eno **Before this one, they were playing a little minor progression thing and Andrew said "This next song's about a dudeeeee" and before he said which dude (Brian Eno or Dan Treacy) I yelled out "BRIAN ENO!!!!!!!" and they started playing it and I felt so cool and psychic to know what they were gonna play before they played it.**
Electric Feel
Flash Delirium **I always get a rush hearing them play this live but at the beginning when they start the recorded track. It's just very exciting to hear that start and know what's coming.**
Of Moons, Birds, and Monsters **This is Elizabeth's favorite MGMT song so she was glad they played it (which I figured they would) and I was happy for her that they jammed out on the end of it.**
It's Working
The Youth **This was cool to hear thousands of young people singing along with. Just saying.**
Song For Dan Treacy
Weekend Wars
Time To Pretend **I got a small like 30 second clip of this one on video.**
Destrokk **I was really excited when they started this one and it was funny when the crowd was singing the "OOOOOHHHHH" after the "we love you in glacial ways"**
The Handshake **AWESOME, AWESOME jam on the end of this one. They always kill it
**I Found A Whistle
Kids **Of course the crowd went freaking CRAZY when they started this one. It was fun because everyone was jumping up and down the entire time and singing not the actual words but the synth part or whatever that is really loud and obnoxiously because Andrew asked us all to. Then at the end James rocked out Kids on his little piano thing for a bit and we all kept singing along with it. Kids, while great, is not my favorite MGMT song, but it's one of the most fun live because everyone in the crowd gets so into it.**
Congratulations **I cried. Nuff said.**
They didn't do an encore but it was kind of okay. NO INDIE ROKKERS. BUT REALLY, their set was freaking awesome and I felt so nasty after as Elizabeth and I removed ourselves from the crowd but at the same time I felt really happy and exhausted and just overall magnificent.
So that was pretty much it, the best day of my life so far.
=THE END.=
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26 thingsss
6 min read
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 26 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 26 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
BASICALLY IF YOU READ THIS I'M TAGGING YOU. SO THERE.
1. I'm Jewish. I really like being Jewish for the holidays and the whole emphasis on seeing my family and eating a lot of good food, but I have trouble grasping the idea of a "god." So I'm proud of what I am, even if it's only by tradition and not really belief.
2. I really am trying to be a hippie. My mindset is getting there but I need some money to go get myself some new clothing.
3. I'm totally and completely (samethingwhatever) OBSESSED with MGMT. They're the band that gets me through my bad moods and everyone in it is so down-to-earth. Their music just kinda got me by surprise and my life would definitely not be the same without them.
4. When you ask me who my best friend is, I'll tell you that it would be , but then I think, "No, she's kind of in her own category. More like a sister that lives down the street." I love her to the ends of the earth and back but OHMYGOD we can piss each other off like WHAT. She's always been there for me and I don't know what the hell I would do with myself if I didn't have her around.
5. The week I spent at art camp this summer was one of the best weeks of my entire life. I love everyone I met there, and the whole experience was really great. I can't wait to go back next year and the summer after I graduate.
6. I'm actually really insecure. I have people to reassure me and tell me I'm good at something or pretty or whatever, but I really never totally believe them. It's something I need to work on.
7. Sophomore year until now was one of the greatest. I'm starting to find out who I am and who I want to be and I'm comfortable around other people more than ever. I used to be kind of shy but I really love to make new random friends and meet new people, and opening up has given me the opportunity to make friends with people who I can count on, even if we haven't been friends that long.
8. I have never broken a bone. Ever. The closest I came to that was when I got a deep bruise in my jaw from baseball in like 3rd grade.
9. I'm an optimist. So sue me.
10. I only ever lie because I'm legitimately afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. I know it's wrong but sometimes I can't help it.
11. I would rather be dumped a zillion times than have to do the dumping once. I don't think it's because I "have a big heart" or anything, I'm just kind of a coward.
12. It seems like I'm a mommy's girl or a daddy's girl when I get panic attacks trying to lie to them. But really, it's just because they always find out. Partly because I'm a bad liar, but partly because they're just psychic aliens from another planet or something.
13. I act like a total stoner sometimes, but I'm really not. It's kinda funny having people ask me all the time if I am.
14. Losing friends makes me sad, but if I feel like I'm the only one trying to hold a friendship together, I'm just gonna let you go. If you're trying to manipulate me, it's not going to work.
15. HATERS TO THE MOTHER FREAKING LEFT.
16. Sometimes I forget that things I post as statuses are things that nobody cares about. So sorry in advance.
17. I really am as happy as I seem. Most of the time I save my unhappiness for when I'm alone so I keep my negative thoughts to myself.
18. Technically, my ancestors are Ukrainian/Russian, but really I'm just American pretty much. Enough generations have been here that I don't really know what to call myself, since I'm not REALLY European, just like my great-great-grandparents.
19. Art class is really only my favorite when the teachers give us some creative freedom on projects. I hate being told what to do (specifically).
20. My grades go up when my classes are in the middle of a unit or topic that actually interests me. I could do the work, but I don't see the point when what I'm learning has no value to me. (And I'm lazy).
21. I know I'm thin, but sometimes I do wish I could look like other girls, or just be a little thinner. It doesn't mean I totally have self-esteem issues or an ED, so don't even.
22. I understand why people are dicks on formspring, but that doesn't mean I agree with it. Grow a pair and tell someone to their face. Or just keep it to yourself.
23. There are a lot of times when my friends really mean more to me than my family does.
24. I have a great family and I love my parents and yes, even my brother, but I find myself wishing I could leave my house and just get out for weeks at a time. Socializing with people and visiting them is fine. Living with other people gives me stress.
25. I realize how lucky I am to not feel like my life is falling apart as a teenager and I'm really thankful for that every day of my life.
26. My mom knows I'll always love her even though I don't always like her. It's a running joke.
If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
BASICALLY IF YOU READ THIS I'M TAGGING YOU. SO THERE.
1. I'm Jewish. I really like being Jewish for the holidays and the whole emphasis on seeing my family and eating a lot of good food, but I have trouble grasping the idea of a "god." So I'm proud of what I am, even if it's only by tradition and not really belief.
2. I really am trying to be a hippie. My mindset is getting there but I need some money to go get myself some new clothing.
3. I'm totally and completely (samethingwhatever) OBSESSED with MGMT. They're the band that gets me through my bad moods and everyone in it is so down-to-earth. Their music just kinda got me by surprise and my life would definitely not be the same without them.
4. When you ask me who my best friend is, I'll tell you that it would be , but then I think, "No, she's kind of in her own category. More like a sister that lives down the street." I love her to the ends of the earth and back but OHMYGOD we can piss each other off like WHAT. She's always been there for me and I don't know what the hell I would do with myself if I didn't have her around.
5. The week I spent at art camp this summer was one of the best weeks of my entire life. I love everyone I met there, and the whole experience was really great. I can't wait to go back next year and the summer after I graduate.
6. I'm actually really insecure. I have people to reassure me and tell me I'm good at something or pretty or whatever, but I really never totally believe them. It's something I need to work on.
7. Sophomore year until now was one of the greatest. I'm starting to find out who I am and who I want to be and I'm comfortable around other people more than ever. I used to be kind of shy but I really love to make new random friends and meet new people, and opening up has given me the opportunity to make friends with people who I can count on, even if we haven't been friends that long.
8. I have never broken a bone. Ever. The closest I came to that was when I got a deep bruise in my jaw from baseball in like 3rd grade.
9. I'm an optimist. So sue me.
10. I only ever lie because I'm legitimately afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. I know it's wrong but sometimes I can't help it.
11. I would rather be dumped a zillion times than have to do the dumping once. I don't think it's because I "have a big heart" or anything, I'm just kind of a coward.
12. It seems like I'm a mommy's girl or a daddy's girl when I get panic attacks trying to lie to them. But really, it's just because they always find out. Partly because I'm a bad liar, but partly because they're just psychic aliens from another planet or something.
13. I act like a total stoner sometimes, but I'm really not. It's kinda funny having people ask me all the time if I am.
14. Losing friends makes me sad, but if I feel like I'm the only one trying to hold a friendship together, I'm just gonna let you go. If you're trying to manipulate me, it's not going to work.
15. HATERS TO THE MOTHER FREAKING LEFT.
16. Sometimes I forget that things I post as statuses are things that nobody cares about. So sorry in advance.
17. I really am as happy as I seem. Most of the time I save my unhappiness for when I'm alone so I keep my negative thoughts to myself.
18. Technically, my ancestors are Ukrainian/Russian, but really I'm just American pretty much. Enough generations have been here that I don't really know what to call myself, since I'm not REALLY European, just like my great-great-grandparents.
19. Art class is really only my favorite when the teachers give us some creative freedom on projects. I hate being told what to do (specifically).
20. My grades go up when my classes are in the middle of a unit or topic that actually interests me. I could do the work, but I don't see the point when what I'm learning has no value to me. (And I'm lazy).
21. I know I'm thin, but sometimes I do wish I could look like other girls, or just be a little thinner. It doesn't mean I totally have self-esteem issues or an ED, so don't even.
22. I understand why people are dicks on formspring, but that doesn't mean I agree with it. Grow a pair and tell someone to their face. Or just keep it to yourself.
23. There are a lot of times when my friends really mean more to me than my family does.
24. I have a great family and I love my parents and yes, even my brother, but I find myself wishing I could leave my house and just get out for weeks at a time. Socializing with people and visiting them is fine. Living with other people gives me stress.
25. I realize how lucky I am to not feel like my life is falling apart as a teenager and I'm really thankful for that every day of my life.
26. My mom knows I'll always love her even though I don't always like her. It's a running joke.
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BRB
1 min read
GOING TO ART CAMP. in 2 hours
I'll be gone until saturday;; i dunno if i can have computer access so just assume i'll be gone.
i'll catch up with messages and stuff when i get back
LOVE YOU ALL~~ <3
I'll be gone until saturday;; i dunno if i can have computer access so just assume i'll be gone.
i'll catch up with messages and stuff when i get back
LOVE YOU ALL~~ <3
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